Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Back On Track

You'd think I'd learn; especially, after the first couple of times of messing up.  But, alas, it didn't happen.  I allowed myself to get so busy AGAIN I got off track!  Have you ever been there?  I have more times than I care to recount.  That's why I'm so glad I've got my "basket list" in writing.  From time to time I can come back and re-visit, refresh, and re-focus on what's important. 
So what's important?  Well, I know one thing's for sure....family is the most important.  I'm writing this post more for me; we all need reminders and you may not remember to remind me!    I am notoriously passionate about everything, but miserably inconsistent at maintaining passion for anything for an extended length of time.  Is that why we have the cliche "Women are flighty"?  

Amid all the many projects I'm involved in and the craziness in between, I finally had a moment of clarity.  "What Am I Doing?" Is all this activity worth my time and effort?  I am like that steamboat in my last post.  I just keeping pushing more water until I can't handle anymore and find I am totally exhausted from it all.   The wheels won't rotate one more time. Not a pretty picture, but you get the "impression" of the scene! 

Well, back to the story.  I got off track.  So here I am coming back.  Back to where it all started.  Back to a simpler existence, back to myself.  No outside interference and distraction. I'm back at the station and ready to start again.  Can I stay the course this time?  Someone once said, God allows us to be tested.  He will allow us to continue to re-take the tests if we fail.  Well, I've been here before and failed miserably.  This time I want to pass the test and stay on track.  While I've gotten to some of the items on my list (remember the basket?), I've reallocated too much time to things that don't really make a difference.  So, if painting my bedroom (you know it's on my list) is important, it's high time I get it right. 

By the way, I am hardly an artist in the painting, sketching, molding sense of the word. Indeed, I have never been blessed with that gift. In fact, in my mind it's too much work and I am a perfectionist. Talk about a frustrating effort. I would never be happy. But, I can play beautiful music and it is in times of joy and desperation when I play my best.  Notes on paper. Simply phrases that evoke emotion. I don't have to talk, I just play. That, I enjoy and that I need.   See you at the next stop!


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